For I am Persuaded...

...In Romans Paul talks about how nothing can separate him from God's love.  Nothing.  And I don't think it's just that he was wishy washy, "well, I'm pretty sure that nothing can separate me from God's love, that is if He doesn't have one of His bad temper Sodom and Gomorrah days and I just happen to be the one who screwed the straw on the camel's back" type of belief.  Paul says he's persuaded.  He was convinced by God.  I don't think Paul was sitting around one day and poof, he came up with this brainstorm.  "What if I can't be separated from God's love!  This would be great!  Why didn't I think of this before!"  God somehow persuaded Paul that there is nothing at all that can take him away from the love of God.

That being said, how persuaded am I?  Whenever I do something I fear reprisal, or I turn and try to defend myself to God as if to say, "What now God?  Can you love me in spite of this.  I dare you to."  He can.  I think I take it as a right and not a gift.  I am one of His adopted sons, and therefore I deserve His love.  He said He'd give it, He can't take it away.  It goes along with the consistent pride I pin on my sleeve like a sergeant's stripes.  It should humble me.   I should understand that I don't warrant anything but hell, and the worst bits of it.  There's a song that says "Your kindness Lord, leads us to repentance."  When does it?  Am I so full of myself that I believe that I deserve God's notice in the first place, let alone His grace?  I wish it weren't so.